Friday, 22 April 2016

Awkward dating profiles

Dating sites. Yeah, they're fun aren't they, marketing yourself to the world. Highlighting your strengths (passion and energy), hiding your weaknesses (passion for pizza). I thought I'd try something different. Rather than concentrate on my obsession with nature, exercise and love of art house cinema, I'd be truly authentic: proclaim my passion for poetry. Surely I'd have the intellectual women of the world slavering over my rhyming couplets, hyperventilating over the skilful hyperbole, panting for more meaningful metaphors.

So I posted this as my profile:

     It is the case that I am one that does not lightly 
     Take the flame. But if you stay to read these lines, 
     Perhaps you'll find someone who is not sprightly 
     Or rough or handsome, but fair enough and sometimes 
     Even nice. So don't think twice about replying, 
     And I promise I won't write in verse unless 
     Of course, you want me to. Have you ever been flying? 
     I travel lots, and am a lover of fine food I must confess, 
     And wine and coffee, they're also good in moderate 
     Amounts. Yes discipline I have in spades, 
     Believe me it's true! How else do I get up 
     And toil, every day a self remade? 
     It is to boldly fill the earthen cup and drink 
     The elixir of life. What do you think?

In the immortal words of the last line, what do you think? Can you suggest a title?

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