Ode to Nutella

Today I'm going to share with you one of my favourite poems. So grab an armchair and sit by the fire (or turn on the air-conditioner if that makes you feel better). Composed in 2012 just after the early noughties, Ode to Nutella is one of Ketki Madane's finest works. Historians believe it was composed in the kitchen, but alternative readings affirm it was the bedroom.

   Ode to Nutella

   Nutella, I write you this poetry,
   To you I'll plead guilty,
   Your familiar chocolatey brown,
   Turns my frown upside down
   I'll spoon you for an eternity.

There you have it ladles and jellyspoons. Lines so moving they would have inspired Robert Browning to rephrase Andrea del Sarto: "Ah, but a man's reach should elude his grasp, or what's a jar of Nutella for?"

One post-structuralist academic was particularly taken by the complexity of Madane's tapestry. William H Kroneburg of the University of Stuttgart wrote: "Madane's ode combines postmodern directness with Irish jingle in a mixture shocking the senses. Who could not be startled with someone getting down and dirty with a jar regardless of the contents. Professor Bloom has rightly stated the juxtaposition of legalese and browniness (perhaps a reference to Robert Browning) is a metaphor for court upholstery. The evocation of vegemite through its legitimate absence turns the nutty narrator back on structuralist fabulation, leaving the reader licking her feminist lips in lustiness."

Madane was flattered by Kroneburg's review, asking if she could put it on the cover of her anthology containing similar limerick-style poetry, aptly entitled, "That's what she said".

Awkward dating profiles

Dating sites. Yeah, they're fun aren't they, marketing yourself to the world. Highlighting your strengths (passion and energy), hiding your weaknesses (passion for pizza). I thought I'd try something different. Rather than concentrate on my obsession with nature, exercise and love of art house cinema, I'd be truly authentic: proclaim my passion for poetry. Surely I'd have the intellectual women of the world slavering over my rhyming couplets, hyperventilating over the skilful hyperbole, panting for more meaningful metaphors.

So I posted this as my profile:

     It is the case that I am one that does not lightly 

     Take the flame. But if you stay to read these lines, 

     Perhaps you'll find someone who is not sprightly 

     Or rough or handsome, but fair enough and sometimes 

     Even nice. So don't think twice about replying, 

     And I promise I won't write in verse unless 

     Of course, you want me to. Have you ever been flying? 

     I travel lots, and am a lover of fine food I must confess, 

     And wine and coffee, they're also good in moderate 

     Amounts. Yes discipline I have in spades, 

     Believe me it's true! How else do I get up 

     And toil, every day a self remade? 

     It is to boldly fill the earthen cup and drink 

     The elixir of life. What do you think?

In the immortal words of the last line, what do you think? Can you suggest a title?

Space Juice - the journey of writing

My latest journey is finally complete: an inner journey spent at cafes and staying awake at night tapping away in front of the PC. Or leaning head in hand dreaming of other worlds.

This journey is the completion of my novel Space Juice, finally published on Amazon!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DXCRCWA

I won’t reveal how long it took to write. This extends down the years, perhaps into another decade. Over these years I’ve learnt much about the art of fiction writing. My craft has changed, definitely for the better. Early on I was verbose, my style flowery – as of a newly graduated English literature student keen to show his wares. With more experience and wider reading through all genres I’ve tamed my style.

I’ve learnt the art of description, how to write action scenes, narrative development, what to imply and how to edit. Oh how to edit! How to kiss goodbye those sentences that don’t quite fit. How to cull an entire paragraph, nay, entire chapters that stray from the story.

I like to think Space Juice contains incisive satire and social commentary, but these are not included for the mere sake of it. The real world teems with absurdity, beauty, corruption, avarice, desire and the quest for survival. The politics in science fiction and fantasy mirror past, present and future scenarios, and Space Juice draws on all three. It is set in the far-flung future, although the reader may find echoes of historical and contemporary events that I have referenced, intentionally or otherwise. These elements, as well as reflecting reality, make for a good story when properly treated.

But already this post becomes too serious. Space Juice: A Sci-Fi (Mis)Adventure is lighthearted, silly and fun. Straddling the boundaries of comedy and science fiction, my first novel falls into a subgenre that I feel has been all too underexploited.

Many thanks to my editor, Chris Parrott, and to James at GoOnWrite.com for the cover design: